You Have a Choice!

The American Heritage Dictionary defines choice as “the power, right, or liberty to choose; option.” We have all heard time and time again that we have […]

The American Heritage Dictionary defines choice as “the power, right, or liberty to choose; option.”

We have all heard time and time again that we have the power to choose what attitude we share with others. As defined above choice means “option.” We have the “option” to react in a positive or negative manner based on the experiences we encounter. Now that we have spelled out exactly how the dictionary defines choice, let’s explore what the book doesn’t explain.

Growing up was easy for me. Despite the fact that my parents divorced before I reached the age of one, I was truly blessed with friends and family that loved me, unconditionally. Both my mother and father remarried and while my mother’s second marriage was short-lived, my father’s has endured the test of time.

Throughout my high school days, I looked at my stepmother as the “wicked witch of the west” and even compared myself at times to Cinderella. Of course I do mean a much more burly and masculine Cinderella. My friends would always joke around about the chores I had to do before I was able to hang out.

“Hey Paul, we would ask you to go to the football game but you wouldn’t have enough time to paint the house,” they would say. Every time I asked my father if I could stay the night at my friend John’s, he would respond with the same old tired line, “yeah, you can go, just not today!” This would then be followed by the most annoying laugh you had ever heard.

It wasn’t until after I graduated high school that I realized my stepmother was the glue that held our whole family together. Our family consisted of my father, stepmother, brother, two half-sisters and myself.

As I’m sure you can imagine feeding a family of six wasn’t always the easiest. My stepmother worked in the claims department at Wal-Mart while my father worked (when he was able to) as a building official for a small town in Kansas.

I love my father. He is my blood and has helped me to become everything that I am today. Unfortunately, he has done this by showing me many things that I never wanted to become.

You see my father suffered from a debilitating disease that millions, perhaps even billions of people suffer from on a regular basis. Some are able to recover. They surround themselves with positive people and a support system that aids them in overcoming the sickness. Others are not so fortunate. They allow the disease to define their existence and negatively impact those around them. This disease is spreading rampantly throughout our planet. While the sickness may not have an official medical term, it can adequately be described in 3 words, WOE IS ME!!!!

My father was an entrepreneur who made a living developing commercial buildings in the Kansas City area. He was on cloud nine after landing one of his largest jobs to date when he began the lengthy and expensive process of constructing a new development. The company that hired my father had been experiencing financial instability and ended up filing bankruptcy.

The world that my father had known was sent into a tailspin. Everything that he owned was tied to this development and he had lost thousands of dollars. At this point he had to make a choice. He could use this experience as a growth opportunity for himself or he could begin wallowing in pain and excuses from reoccurring back problems that was undoubtedly caused by carrying this baggage for a lifetime.

Life does not always happen as we’ve planned for it to happen. Many of us have experienced horrible things that no one person should have to see or feel. That being said, these experiences help to define who we are and what we become. The strength that we possess and develop through times of sorrow, becomes a part of us and allows others to see that recovery is possible.

My father filed bankruptcy in his thirties and hated life ever since. He blamed every failure or loss on that experience and had trouble owning the outcomes based on his decisions.

I now realize that my stepmother is truly a Saint. She managed the family’s finances and limited the negative impact our father could play on our attitudes by showing us we had a choice. She could have allowed herself to fall into the “funk” that plagued my father on a regular basis. However, she remained as strong as Sylvester Stallone in “Over the Top” and continues to be one of the most optimistic people I have ever met.

You have a choice. You can be the example of what those around you are scared to death to become or you can be an inspiration to others. This can only be done by the way you react to life experiences. Life doesn’t stop to cry about what has happened, so why should we?

Tears are good for the healing process and I encourage you all to shed one or two during difficult times. However, if you’re consistently looking ahead and moving forward, you will find it impossible to drown in the puddles that they leave.